COWBOY POETRY: Shopping Frenzy

Cowboy poet Bryce Angell

I drove on down to Sportsman’s Shop to buy a brand-new cap. But, when I stepped in through the doors they had me in their trap.

I’m not talking ‘bout the trap that snares your foot and won’t let go. I’m alluding to the shopping trance. Why couldn’t I say no?

I made my way down through the isle where caps and hats were priced. But, soon I found the sleeping bags. My eyes were so enticed.

The floor attendant tempted. “It’s the best sale of the year!” I had to have the sleeping bag to go with all my gear.

I grabbed a cart and filled it with my brand-new sleeping bag. I wasn’t checking prices. That would surely raise a flag.

I pushed on past the hats and caps and found a coat to wear. I didn’t need another but it’s good to have a spare.

I bought a pair of mittens that I’ll prob’ly never use. To justify my purchase-I remembered, “Snooze you lose.”

I purchased ammunition and that’s when I took the cue. I had too many bullets for a single .22.

So, I bought another rifle. What the heck, it’s just one more. Then I moved on with my frenzy, hadn’t covered all the floor.

Aha! My eyes beheld a sight designed for all to see. A brand-new shiny wall tent that would soon belong to me.

We totaled up my purchase. I was surely caught off guard. Two thousand fifty dollars, I said, “Put it on my card.”

I’d spent a ton of money on some toys I didn’t need. But, I’ll give you my opinion and as listeners you should heed.

Although I’ve never learned to save, for sure a shopping sap. This time I saved ten dollars ‘cuz I didn’t buy a cap.

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